Daystrike ([info]daystrike) wrote,
2005-01-21 20:37:00
You know, it's great to come home, jump on the computer, then see that my current SO has messages from girls asking him why he didn't see them last night.

Then I wonder who it is, and check, and he's all about checking them out in bikini's and making passes at them at every chance he gets.

It really pisses me off. I thought that after the whole "problem" I didn't have to worry anymore.

Guess I was wrong. But aren't I always?

I'm stupid, I'm naive so I keep letting myself get hurt.

OH well, it's not like he cares...and he's already said as much.

I hate me.

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  • 12 comments

[info]durandal1707

January 22 2005, 10:05:44 UTC 7 years ago

http://www.fastseduction.com/

[info]kolohe

January 22 2005, 10:13:07 UTC 7 years ago

You're still with him? Why?

[info]daystrike

January 22 2005, 18:08:30 UTC 7 years ago

Honestly? I'm not sure. Truly, one reason is lack of funds to have anywhere else to go. Rent here is awesome.

I guess on some demented level I do love him, and am loathe to see him suffer as he will if I leave.

Also, selfishly, I lose my fall back too, and I have so much more to lose than him, as he so nicely pointed out last night. The first being a place to live, since he said that it is his house and he was going to call the police to have me removed (note: its not his house, its his friend's grandmother's, but whatever.).

[info]modernman55

January 22 2005, 10:45:40 UTC 7 years ago

dont hate your self... hate him.

[info]daystrike

January 22 2005, 18:09:52 UTC 7 years ago

I could hate him for what he does and what he's done.

But in the end, it's my own fault because he's done it before and I knew it was going to cycle again. It was inevitable and I let it happen again.

For one stupid instant, I thought things were changing for the better.

It's horrible to hear from someone that all they've been doing is lying to you about how they felt.

[info]modernman55

January 22 2005, 23:49:01 UTC 7 years ago

I think the only think your guilty of is haveing faith in someone who didnt deserve your faith. Your high opinion on them was abused and taken advantage of, I dont know the detials of the issue so I cant say too much on it. However Im sure you dont deserve that kind of treatment nor did you ask for it by being able to forgive and let the past stay where it is.

I think the relationship cant go forward if he keeps repeating the past.

[info]daystrike

January 23 2005, 23:08:42 UTC 7 years ago

I don't think anything was going forward. I obviously thought it was, but he told me that he was never happy.

And apparently he was telling the "hot" girls he knew that he wasn't happy with me, then coming home and telling me how happy he was, etc.

As perverse as it sounds, I'm glad that one of them told him off for hitting on her, telling her he hates me, and still being with me the whole time.

[info]mindstorm

January 26 2005, 00:30:56 UTC 7 years ago

He has always been that way, and always will be. You had the opportunity to get out of it, you kept saying how you should. You chose not to. End of story.

[info]daystrike

January 26 2005, 04:19:22 UTC 7 years ago

I know that....hence the whole I hate myself in the main thread. I never denied that this entire situation is of my own doing.

[info]mindstorm

January 26 2005, 23:45:19 UTC 7 years ago

and just to be fair...

You made the choice, stop bitching and deal with it. Thats what I told him, or something along those lines. So, I'm just telling you the same, to be fair.

[info]daystrike

February 1 2005, 08:01:57 UTC 7 years ago

Re: and just to be fair...

I did make the choice, and thank you for being fair. Due to...the circumstances, I honestly thought things were going for the better. And the honestly seemed to be for the whole of last semester and even into this one. In fact, he specifically told me that he was cutting off the cycle (which he didnt) and (at the time) I felt like he was really trying. I know this doesn't mean much, since it still becomes what I should have done or whatever, and stop bitching, but I just felt like explaining.

[info]nutari

January 26 2005, 12:29:08 UTC 7 years ago

and none of you know ...

im hungry.

fuck you all

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